This is the SHOCKING SECRET to BETTER GOLF that the Pros are AFRAID that you’ll find out.
It’s such a closely kept secret that only a handful of the world’s LONGEST and STRAIGHTEST hitters are aware of it.
It will give you, quite literally, EXPLOSIVE POWER off the tee!
It’s a SIMPLE TRICK that will have you hitting THE BEST DRIVES OF YOUR LIFE after only 27 seconds of practice!
And the BEST PART is that you won’t even have to get out of your chair to master it!
This is the BEST GOLF TIP in the history of the world, EVER!
But BE CAREFUL, the Pros and equipment manufacturers are genuinely terrified that you’ll find out about their carefully kept secret!
You need to learn this secret TODAY, before this website is taken down FOREVER as part of their CONSPIRACY!
And be very careful who you share this secret with! The $25 BILLION golf industry, as part of their secret collusion with the CIA and Facebook, has vowed to do everything in their power to keep this secret from getting out!
This hidden secret was first discovered by the legendary Sloof McLirpa, back in 1712.
Sloof was the greatest golfer of his generation, winning 93% of all the tournaments he played in.
One of the greatest scandals in sporting history is that Sloof was never allowed to play on the PGA Tour.
During his career, which was tragically cut short when he was mauled to death by a rogue Harlequin sheep that had strayed onto his local course, Sloof shot an ASTONISHING 27 hole-in-ones on par-5s! That’s 27 TRIPLE-EAGLES, more than any other golfer in history!
He could hit the ball so far, and so straight, that his peers nick-named him “That Really Long and Really Straight Guy”.
With his death in 1715, Sloof’s secret was thought to be lost to the world forever. But the secret was discovered again on this day in 1997, when a 7 year old Rory McIlroy was playing hide-and-seek in the cellars beneath Royal County Down Golf Club, in Northern Ireland.
When trying to hide inside an old golf bag, Rory got his head stuck, and he had to be cut free – it is this experience that gave Rory his trademark hairstyle – and a scroll, written by Sloof, was found hidden in the lining of the bag.
Within just a few minutes of reading the scroll, the young Rory could drive a golf ball further than anyone else in the British Isles, at the age of just 7!
We Have PROOVED that it WORKS!
In our SECRET TRIALS, the average golfer, after just 2 PRACTICE SWINGS, could hit the ball between 93.67 and 94.21 yards further! With an 8-iron!
Get ready! We are about to reveal THE ONE SIMPLE SECRET TRICK that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER!
The next time you play, you will DOMINATE long par-5s!
Sloof’s amazing secret was to fart at the beginning of his downswing.
This may seem a little strange, at first, but it is SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN to work.
The act of farting, at precisely the right moment, forces your piriformis muscle to engage while softening the anterior surface of the sacrotuberous ligament. This both stabilises your pelvis and generates huge power in your hip turn, resulting in amazing gains in both accuracy and distance.
The Drill
It is important to remember that this is a drill, we’re isolating and exaggerating certain bowel movements – the real golf swing will be different since it incorporates a number of other movements, but the feelings, sounds, and movement patterns that you are ingraining here will quickly improve your golf swing.
You should perform Stage 2 of this drill in front of a full-length mirror.
Stage 1: Timbre
- Fart, trying to match the exact timbre of this sample.
Stage 2: Timing
- Assume the perfect address position and make your backswing.
- As you approach the top of the swing, fart again, trying to release your fart at the precise moment that you begin your transition, just as you get fully loaded into your trail glutes.
- Think “back – fart – through”.
Notice how the perfect fart has two distinct parts, the first and most explosive part activates your muscles and fires your hips, and the second part builds the angular momentum of your hip turn through into impact – you will literally have rocket powered hips!
Try to pace yourself, you’ll need about one and a half gallons of fart to maximise your distance over a full 18 holes.
It will help if you eat about 32oz (900g) of vegetarian baked beans on the evening before a big competition.
The added benefit of this technique, in the right weather conditions, is that it can actually incapacitate your opponents.
Be very careful not to follow-through in your follow-through!
Practise Deliberately
As always, this drill is about quality, not quantity. You’ll certainly need to perform this drill hundreds (if not thousands) of times to truly perfect it, but 10 highly focussed farts are worth 1000 mindless ones.
Use deliberate practice, work in short, highly focussed, sessions. Find somewhere where you will be undisturbed, the bathroom is ideal. Put your “game face” on. Laser focus.
With each fart, focus on different elements of the motion, ensuring that you are performing each part correctly.
Once you master this simple trick, we GUARANTEE that you will be TOTALLY AWESOME at golf! You will be FAMOUS, marry a model, and feature on the cover of GOLF DIGEST MAGAZINE, or we’ll give you your money back!
Enjoy the rest of your day!
Published April 1st, 2014
Happy fairways!
» Play Like a Champion – Additional golf instruction.
